janne_d: (ooh I say)
[personal profile] janne_d
Seen pretty much everywhere on my flist:

"Find the nearest book to you, turn to page 45, and read the first sentence: this describes your sex life in 2012."

When I told the operator what was going on she breathed in sharply and asked how many people were with me and whether anyone was hurt.

OMG. *dies laughing*

(Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde, if you were wondering.)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-01-13 04:16 pm (UTC)
trobadora: (Default)
From: [personal profile] trobadora
My sympathies! *g*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-01-13 06:03 pm (UTC)
ext_6615: (shepomg)
From: [identity profile] janne-d.livejournal.com
Oh, it gets better! The next sentence is:

"Seven females, myself and the driver; we are all fine."

and then there's mention of a Pekinese... apparently I will be having lots of gay orgies with small dogs as bystanders. At least, I hope as bystanders!

(no subject)

Date: 2012-01-13 06:12 pm (UTC)
trobadora: (Default)
From: [personal profile] trobadora
Hehehe, I hope so as well! At least it sounds like you won't be bored. *g*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-01-14 12:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shutupeccles.livejournal.com
Unfortunately, page 45 of Green Eggs and Ham has illustration only. Falling off a car that is being pushed by a train as they all plummet into a boat ... got me worried.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-01-16 05:44 pm (UTC)
ext_6615: (cherryblossom)
From: [identity profile] janne-d.livejournal.com
Ack. That is rather more adventurous than a sex life should be - maybe you should stock up on parachutes? :-)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-01-17 01:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shutupeccles.livejournal.com
or become a Nun ;-)

Oh dear.

Date: 2012-02-23 09:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tejastuff.livejournal.com
When I happened across this post, I had a choice of two nearest books-- one hidden behind the other but each equidistant to my side. Gamely I grabbed the one in front, knowing already what I likely was in for.

CHECKLIST OF TEXAS SNAKES


Granted, this was not unexpected, but neither was it a sentence.

Moving on, the first page after 45 that even contained a complete sentence was 78, which stated:

At first glance, this small, slender serpent looks more like an earthworm than a reptile.


I could have gone with that, given that I'm a woman married to a woman, and that as portent it certainly was way better than either the nearest first complete sentence to 45's unfortunate omen (two pages back on 43: Such spotty patterns can sometimes be real, reflecting a species' absence from certain local areas of suitable habitat.) or the technically most proximal last sentence on that page (which dryly and at length clarified the authors' reasoning behind their chosen citation protocol.) I had, however, already noted with some wicked glee that the book previously hidden behind Texas Snakes: A Field Guide was Richard Stevenson's Third Man Out, and figgered I probably could ditch the field guide yield on some combination of technicalities.

I ended up ditching the technicalities, though, because:

This was not fair.

Re: Oh dear.

Date: 2012-02-25 03:54 pm (UTC)
ext_6615: (bfohdear)
From: [identity profile] janne-d.livejournal.com
If you string all the sentences together, it does tell a rather alarming tale of disappointment mixed with STDs... and it definitely qualifies for an "oh dear" moment!

All in all, I think I probably escaped fairly lightly with my sentence.

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